Foreign Language
by MurreMurmel
Summary: 100% plotless. Naruto, Iruka and Ebisu having a meeting of sorts. Naruto cant talk, but manages to piss the closet pervert off anyways.


**Authoress note: **I went through my doc files the other day and found this half finished, so I finished it and decided to post it. It's a challenge fic, though I don't remember who challenged. Please read and review!

**Warnings: **Contains mentions of being totally smashed, also contains a few insults. And I should warn you on behalf of my grammar and punctuation.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto.

**Edit: **I changed thru to through. Thanks to Red Roses2 for pointing that out.

Hmm…. How was he supposed to get out of this one he wondered…

His throat felt like he thought it might feel to swallow one of his toad summons, kind of sore and utterly abused.

Three days ago had been his birthday, his eighteenth birthday.

Of course this called for celebration.

He had been drinking everything within reach; he even managed to sneak off with Tsunade's medical alcohol. You know the kind you're not supposed to drink but still drinks? The same kind you can look down inside the bottle and see little fluffy bunnies flouting around in?

Ok, maybe not if you're _sober_ but I was anything _except_ sober, so yeah. It turned out the way it did.

And now you may wonder, _'why is that so bad?'_ well I'll tell you why. You see, I haven't been able to talk since that fateful night.

I've been writing what I wanted to say in a notebook for people to read from and keep the cursed thing with me at all times simply because my body language is as Kakashi-sensei stated; " A foreign language."

This particular day I'm on my way to a meeting with the closet pervert, also known as Ebisu.

Iruka sensei says that it will be fun. He also said something about checking my grades to see how much I've been improving since the old academy days. I can understand that they want to do that, but why it has to be with _Ebisu_ of all people is beyond me.

But, since Iruka-sensei was the one who asked, I'll go along with it. That doesn't mean I'll be nice to him though!

So here I am, on my way back to my apartment with Iruka walking next to me. The closet pervert should already be there waiting for us to arrive.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Naruto sat in his kitchen with triumph and mockery written all over his face staring at Ebisu. The pervert himself just huffed and stared at the wall in response. The first thing Ebisu had remarked on once they got seated at the table was that there were no need for a check up like this, that rude brat was probably as stupid now as he was back then. Iruka didn't seem all too happy about his comment and said "why don't we get on with the test, Ebisu-san. Then we'll see if he's improved." Smiling like he knew something Ebisu didn't.

When the results showed that Naruto had indeed improved greatly; the closet pervert got quiet. And both Naruto and Iruka looked satisfied with the news. But Ebisu didn't accept defeat that easily and decided to piss the brat off a bit. "If I were to ask you why your hair is dyed blonde, would I get a straight answer?" the pervert asked as he watched Narutos expression go from smugness to confusion and lastly irritation. Naruto whipped out his notebook and scrabbled down a few words in it. Iruka blushed sweetly when he read it through "So? What does it say?" Ebisu asked anxiously. Iruka looked uncertainly between the notebook, Naruto and the pervert. "Um.. Ebisu-san," he started as his blush got more intensive "I am not reading this one out loud."

Naruto pouted a bit at that, while Ebisu tried to convince Iruka to either read it for him or give the notebook to him so that he could read it himself. "Say it! I know you want to!" he cried. "..Hai…(1) " Iruka softly mumbled and read through Naruto's chicken scratch " It says; 'I think he should parade in front of the paparazzi in a dress.' "

Naruto let a cocky grin adorn his face as the pervert huffed in annoyance. Iruka handed the notebook back to his smug kitsune as they waited for Ebisu to lash out another insult.

A few heartbeats later the closet pervert said "Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people!" Iruka frowned and waited for Naruto to hand him the notebook. "Naru-kun, are you sure you want me to read this out loud?" Iruka asked after receiving to book. Naruto nodded repeatedly and urged him on with a mischievous smile. "Right, here is what it says;" Iruka sighted with a fond smile on his face as read it out loud "'I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.' "

The end n.n

Pointless reviews muchly appreciated.

(1)- Hai - Yes


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